We Were Made To Never Fall Away
by Prettie Parker
Summary: "You and I were made for this. I was made to taste your kiss. We were made to never fall away... Never fall away" Dean/Haley with Sam, and Bobby.
1. Chapter 1

**Note:** Also This story is a little confusing in the first chapter but all will be explained in part two. But it will be clear Dean and Haley are deeply struggling right now. Enjoy!

_**We Were Made To Never Fall Away**_

_Here it comes it's all blowing in tonight_

_I woke up this morning to a blood red sky_

_They're burning on the bridge turning off the lights_

_We're on the run I can see it in your eyes_

_If nothing is safe then I don't understand_

It was a small quaint house that Dean called home. Nothing gaudy or big, nothing to brag about, but those walls held magic in their grasp. They reminded him of her, of their love, the good times before everything went bad. Those walls kept them together when everything in the world was trying to rip them apart. For that very reason that home had become his favorite place to be. To hide away with his love there. Where he could almost pretend they hadn't lost everything. Where he could almost convince himself they were going to be ok.

Silently Dean sat on a chair beside his wooden creaking kitchen table. His eyes hung on empty air, gazing at nothing in particular. It was barely after eleven, but a bottle already held in his hand before he took another big swig of the bitter substance. Trying to kill the ache in his heart. Trying to fill that hollow feeling in his chest that never went away. Even in his most cherished fleeting moments, where he finally felt like things were as they use to be between him and Haley, even then the emptiness dwelled somewhere inside. Reminding him, nothing is as it was before.

The bottle had become his best friend. It seemed like destiny and genetics that it would be what he turned to when he couldn't face his life and everything he lost in it. How everything had been ruined, because of him. Because he couldn't protect the things that mattered most in the world to him.

As another gulp of that warm harsh liquor slipped down his throat, Dean heard his front door open. He didn't need to go look to know who it was. Sam came by every day now. He stopped knocking when Dean stopped answering the door. All the family they had left, they were brothers who stood by each other through it all. There was no way Sam would let Dean face this by himself. Sure, Dean tried to push him away, keep him at a distance, but Sam wouldn't budge. Nothing could keep him from supporting his brother through this tragedy.

Entering the kitchen, Sam stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Dean already getting drunk. Such a site had become common place as of late, but that didn't make it any less painful to witness either. To see such a strong man, broken on his knees before the world.

Putting his game face on, being strong for a brother who's strength was all but gone, Sam tried to carry them both. "Well aren't you up early, and I see Jack's helping you start the day off right." The truth slipped off Sam's lips. While he would support Dean through all of this, he'd never pretend like his rapidly evolving chronic alcoholism was a good thing.

"Shut it, Sam," Dean barked back instantly in no mood for Sam opinions. Today was particularly hard. Not for any exact reason. Just somehow the loss felt extra strong, extra lonely.

Instantly the tension drained from Dean's face as Haley entered the room. She looked beautiful almost as if she was glowing. Always a stunning radiant sight to behold even when he was disheveled at best.

Passing Sam, softly her hand reached out to gaze along his arm. "Morning Sammy." She welcomed her best friend and family with the sweet morning song of her voice, but Sam never acknowledged her. All his sense zeroed in on Dean. His eyes glued to his brother a few feet away, a look of concern consuming his orbs.

_You call me your boy but I'm trying to be the man_

_One more day and it's all slipping with the sand_

_You touch my lips and grab the back of my hand_

_The back of my hand_

Not dismayed by Sam's lack of recognition, Haley went to take a seat beside Dean. Scooting her chair in close, she softly laid her head upon his shoulder and for the first time all day Dean felt his pain ease in it's death grip upon him.

"Dean, I'm worried about you. I mean it's not even twelve yet and your getting drunk. You can't live like this, man." Sam explained himself, his approach softening in a way that let Sammy's big heart shine.

Dean's emerald eyes drifted to empty space, trying not to let his little brother's words sink in under his guard.

Softly Haley's cheek upon his shoulder nuzzled against him. "He's right you know. You should give the bottle a rest. You've had enough already." She whispered to her husband, and Dean's heart began to race as he could feel her warm breath upon his neck.

Shutting out Sammy, that was something Dean had gotten good at over the years, but Haley. She was something else. He couldn't block her out. He couldn't make her disappear even if he wanted to. With a deep breath of resignation, Dean placed the half empty bottle onto the table top, releasing it's hold upon him for now. "Fine," He conceded on a heavy breath.

"Come on, get up. We're going out. I saw some demonic omens on the news for a few towns over. Might be the lead we've been looking for. You shouldn't just sit in this house all day anyway." Sam instructed, having won a small victory with the bottle. He was now more determined then ever to try and distract Dean from the horrors of his mind and broken heart.

Dean sat in the chair for a moment. Tempted to just stay there and spend the day with Haley, but he knew Sam wouldn't take no for an answer. Letting out an audible grumbling just so Sam knew this wasn't his idea of a good time, Dean rose from his chair. He felt Haley grasp his hand from his side before he could step away. "I'll by here when you get home." Her words as comforting and full of love as the soft tone of her voice.

Dean stood there, soaking up the way having her near brought him a sick sense of comfort while also breaking his heart worse.

Without another word, Dean gave her hand a gentle squeeze of acknowledgment, then slipped his grasp from her, and went to grab his coat. The prospect of fresh air suddenly sounded like just what he might need.

Sitting in the chair where he left her, a subtle pleased smile lifted Haley's lips. "Have fun boys." She called in their departure.

_Guess we both know we're in over our headsWe got nowhere to go and no home that's leftThe water is rising on a river turning redIt all might be OK or we might be dead_

When darkness coated the sky and everything settled in for a good night, finally Dean returned home. When he entered the quiet little house all the lights were out. Shadows covered everything in sight, not a sound of life to be heard. His eyes scanned the living room and kitchen before despair sunk his heart. She wasn't there. He was all alone again. All alone like he always knew he was, but sometimes couldn't admit.

His steps dragged with a lack purpose as he made his way to their bedroom, his bedroom.

Carelessly he flickered on the light as he entered the room. Dragging his feet, tugging his jacket off as he went.

"Catch the monster?" She sweet voice that could fill his insides with such hope perked up suddenly.

Spinning around, his breath caught, a little startled. Instantly he spotted Haley on their bed, tucked half way under the blankets. Dressed for bed in a simple cotton nightgown that made her look like an angel in his eyes as she rubbed lotion into her delicate hands.

A pleased smirk slipped over Dean's lips with her presence. Thrill running through his veins that he had been wrong and she hadn't left. His heart began to feel alive again for the first time since he left her side that morning. Taking a seat on the edge of her side of the bed to be nearer to her, Dean pulled his boots off as he answered his beloved.

"Not yet, but we will." He retorted confidently. A sense of completion felt like waves crashing through him. As if things were like they use to be. As if the hands of time had actually rewound themselves.

"You always do." Haley chimed in, giving her faith for her husband. Believing in him completely. He was her hero and she never doubted him.

Dean's eyes flashed to her out the corner as something pained his heart like a sharp stab. Drifting, his eyes fell onto empty air as his mind traveled to a far away time where nightmares came true. "Almost always…" The words slipped tragically slow off his lips. His breath heavy and burdened with the memories that plagued this mind. With the guilt that would never go away. With the actions that may have been out of his control and yet he'd never forgive himself for letting them play out in such a way.

Seeing that look in his eyes. Knowing what it meant without him ever needing to say a word, because it was like she could read his mind, like she was a piece of him. Haley reached out and placed her delicate hand over his in a comforting supportive gesture. "Don't do this to yourself. Lets not think about that tonight." She spoke softly to him, trying to pull him back from the brink in his mind. Trying to bring him back to her where she wanted. Beside her, enthralled by her, his complete attention. Where they could drown in each other.

Dean's vulnerable emerald eyes darted to Haley's honey brown, their eyes holding in a gaze. Something in his orbs was tortured as he looked upon her as if a veil had been lifted and none of this felt real.

_If everything we've got is slipping away_

_I meant what I said when I said until my dying day_

_I'm holding on to you, holding on to me_

_Maybe it's all gone black but you're all I see_

_You're all I see_

Gently Haley's hand squeezed Dean's trying to reach him past the horrors of what his mind was doing to him. "I missed you." She whispered with such endless, undying love as she gazed lost into his piercing emerald eyes.

Dean could feel his chest tightening as it took all his strength to hold back the tears that wanted to form. To hold in the emotion and torment that was filling him up inside.

"I miss you." His thick husky breath let escape.

Connected at their hands, and eyes that are the windows to the soul, Haley needed to be near him. To let their closeness fill him and heal him in a way that only having her near could do.

"Do you want to hold me?" A sweet coy little smile danced across her lips and sparkled in her eyes, calling to him just where it got to him most.

Seeing that look in her eyes, the magic to her that always got to him, Dean couldn't resist. "More then anything…" He confessed, and no truer wish had ever been spoken from his heart.

Releasing his hand from her steady, but nurturing hold, Haley patted his side of the bed. Beckoning him to join her where they could bask in each other and get lost in a place that didn't hurt like this brutal world.

Not needing to be told twice, Dean joined his wife in their bed. Laying side by side the way they had for so many years, countless times. Beside her in their bed always felt like a refugee, their home even more then the walls of this house. Beside her, wrapped up in the warm blankets, tangling their limbs, it was as close to heaven as Dean had found on this earth.

Finding a comfortable spot in a mattress he had worn in over the years, Dean met his wife's stunning eyes that waited for his word. Extending his arms wide, he called to her to come in and get comfortingly close.

As if floating on air Haley went to him, her husband, and greatest love. Softly her cheek nestled a home on his chest, where the sound of his beating heart was the sweetest symphony she had ever heard. Haley's slender arm slipped over his taunt stomach, finding a place to take hold on the other side.

Dean sucked in a deep healing breath as he felt the love of his life settle in against him, around him, as if they were one. His strong arms wrapped around her with the dearest of care as his face turned to her, the tip of his nose brushing her hair. Her scent filtered up his nose, a scent cherished above any other smell, a scent he could never forget.

_The walls are shaking, I hear them sound the alarm_

_Glass is breaking so don't let go of my arm_

_Grab your bags and a picture of where we met_

_All that we'll leave behind and all that's left_

As the sweet smell of her filled his nose and the familiar feel of his love in his arms took hold, Dean felt his heart swell with a love so deep it knew no bounds, but his heart also began to rip open again. She was his solace, his joy, his peace, but after what happened between them having her close now destroyed his heart too. With everything he couldn't forget. With everything he should have protected her from. With everything he wished he could do over again. Thick clogging emotion choked his throat in a moment he couldn't escape from. His hands gripped her tighter as tears burned uncontrollably in his emerald eyes, and a few warm wet ones managed to slip free before he could trap them.

Haley felt his breath shutter beneath her. Felt his muscles tighten around her. He was breaking, she knew her love too well not to know it. She hated doing this to him. She knew he loved her as much as she loved him, but she also knew her presence now hurt him. After what they had been through, after what they had lost, a part of being near her killed him now.

Pulling back softly from their close embrace, Haley sought and found Dean's beautifully tragic face. Going to him, she reached out, her fingertips brushing away the few tears that littered his stubble riddled cheeks. Softly she ran her hand along the outline of his face until her palm held his cheek. "Don't cry. I'm here." Haley whispered to him, inches from his face as she gazed deep into his eyes with her love. The only gift she had left to offer.

Those words, her presence, those were the very things that saved him and killed him the most these days. Every day, especially in moments like this a piece of him told himself this isn't where she belonged, not anymore. And that it was him who was holding her here.

Seeing the broken shattered shards of his big breaking heart in his eyes, Haley leaned in and brushed her lips faintly across his own. Blessing him with her kiss. A kiss so full of love, Dean couldn't help but give it back to her.

The pain in his heart still lingered, echoing to him from the far reaches deep inside, but the moment she kissed him, Dean found himself desperate to taste her again.

_If everything we've got is blowing away_

_We've got a rock and a rock till our dying day_

_I'm holding on to you, holding on to me_

_Maybe it's all we got but it's all I need_

_You're all I need_

One hand glided up her body to cup her cheek as his soft full lips took hers captive in the sweetest embrace. His other hand held along the curve of her hip, holding her to him as his fingers dug into her cotton covered flesh for a better grip.

His gritty textured hand slipped from her cheek down along her neck as his warm seducing mouth followed. His lips trailed a dance along her jaw and onto her sensitive neck. Dean felt himself coming undone as his lips grasp her skin in a spot he already knew would make her squeal, and as her whimpered cry hit his ear he knew he couldn't stop.

His hand moved smooth and skilled as it reached her shoulder and slipped the strap of her nightgown off before his warm hungry mouth took it's place.

As her hands tangled into his soft dirty blonde hair, Dean took the lead and rolled her onto her back, pinning her beneath him.

Their lips collided in this new position, as his weight upon her connected them together in just the right way. Haley kissed Dean with just as much passion, her need for him and this now just as strong. As their lips moved against each other with a delirious intent and sensual goal, Dean's strong hand reached down to grab her thigh, before he hooked her leg around his hip.

In that moment Dean pulled back, breaking their kiss. His eyes blazed down on Haley's, his endless untouchable love for her pounding in his heart. His hot needy breath splashed her face as Dean gave her his heart for the millionth time. "I love you." His husky voice whispered as he gazed lost and wanting into his beloved eyes.

A smile etched at her lips as desire and love shot from her eyes into him. Her hand rose to touch his prickled cheek, their eyes never losing the hold of their passion.

"I love you too." She whispered, because she would always be his. Every piece of her, body and soul.

Dean felt it in his heart the words he so badly needed to hear her say. A grin briefly touched his lips before his hunger for her took over and his mouth fell back down to Haley's more insistent then ever.

_And if all we've got, is what no one can break,_

_I know I love you, if that's all we can take,_

_The tears are coming down, they're mixing with the rain,_

_I know I love you, if that's all we can take._

_Mat Kearney - All I Need _


	2. Chapter 2

_**Without You Within Me**_

_Empty spaces fill me up with holes_

_Distant faces with no place left to go_

_Without you within me I can't find no rest_

_Where I'm going is anybody's guess_

It was just another day in the life of a hunter. Another day of going on even when you don't want to. Another day of going on even when your not sure you can anymore. That's exactly what Dean was doing as he sat on the edge of his bed, strapping on his boots. He was going on even when he felt like at any given moment, the next could be his last. But what other option was there, lay down and die? That wasn't the Winchester way, not without due cause. Not unless you were saving someone else that would take your place. Giving up wasn't an option.

Sam loitered inconspicuously around his older brother's bedroom. Keeping an eye on him, always making sure he didn't crack or collapse, because these days nothing was certain.

Sam's worried whiskey eyes scanned his brother's bedroom. Noting all of Haley's belongings still exactly as she had left them. The sight of them, each and every single one of them stung his heart. Like a constant reminder of the most painful wound he had experienced as of late, and if that's what seeing his old best friend's things did to him, Sam couldn't even image what they were doing to Dean. Out of loving concern, Sam brought up the touchy subject delicately. "Have you thought about doing something with some of her stuff?" Sam questioned slowly on a hesitant breath incase Dean exploded on him like a rabid animal.

Dean's heart pained with his brother's words. Pain he didn't dare show, but sunk so deep inside him for a moment Dean felt he couldn't catch his breath. Then she appeared, the very beauty and grace of her image gave him the relief to fill his lungs yet again. With lush golden curly locks, Haley leaned against the door frame eying Sam. "Why would he do that, Sammy?" Her sweet voice filled Dean's ears giving his heart the urge to beat.

A smirk crossed Dean's lips as he gazed upon his wife in all her glory in the doorway. The very sight of her enough to pull him through, keep him going. Ripping his emerald eyes from her before Sam noticed, Dean dropped his smirk, and let his gaze lift to his brother.

"What do you mean?" His voice edged with each word. Knowing where this conversation was going and wanting to avoid it like an airborne plague.

Seeing he had his brother's attention even if Dean was on edge with each word, Sam took a risky chance and elaborated. "I mean… She's been gone almost two months now…" Sam's words came out uneasy and thick. It hurt him too to remember she was gone. Haley had been Dean's wife, but she was Sam's sister in-law and best friend too. He was the one who found her at Stanford, long before Dean came back into his life. Losing her so suddenly, so brutally the way they did, Dean wasn't the only one hanging on by a thread these days.

Something pointed and fiery filled Haley's eyes as she moved quickly into her bedroom. "No, I'm not. I'm still here." She insistently spoke. Her eyes blazing on her best friend as if he were mad and she wasn't invisible.

_Voices tell me I should carry on_

_But I am swimming in an ocean all alone_

_Baby, my baby, It's written on your face_

_You still wonder if we made a big mistake_

Eyeing Dean's open closet, seeing Haley's cloths still hanging from the rails, Sam's heart ached. Spotting her favorite sweater, the one she wore whenever the weather got chilly and bitter against her skin. The one she said felt like a blanket around her, and made her look cute as a button in it, and a little goofy too. Sam couldn't help but be drawn to it. So many memories tied to it. Feeling a need deep inside him to go to it as if by touching that simple knitted sweater he could touch a piece of her again. Sam's big rough hands delicately fingered the sleeve that hung low, careful as not to hurt it. "Maybe… Maybe it's time to pack some of this up…" Sam's breath grew heavy with the difficult words, as Haley's scent drifted off her cloths, and filtered up his nose. Her sweet fragrance filled his insides, sending tears burning in his eyes with the desperate desire to fall in her name.

Passionate and stubborn, two things Dean loved most about Haley suddenly burst to life in her eyes like a flame being lit. Charging to Sam as if offended, Haley put him in his place like she use to do when she was alive when her best friend crossed a line.

"Sam Winchester don't even think about moving my stuff." Her tone commanding and determined. Frantically Haley's honey orbs shot to Dean still seated on the bed.

"Tell him I'm still here. Tell him you can see me." Haley's voice was insistent in Dean's ears as his eyes locked with her fiery honey pair.

Dean's heart constricted, he couldn't tell Sam Haley was haunting him anymore then he could tell Haley she wasn't alive. They wouldn't understand. Understand the extreme pain he was in, and how the only way he was able to survive these days was to not let her go. Was her keep her earthbound here with him.

Sam finally released Haley's sweater, and the heart crushing hold it had over him. Turning back to his brother, Sam noted the tension etched across his brother's face, but unable to hear Haley's rant he assumed Dean's reaction was to what he was saying. Easing up, he came at it from the heart this time. "Having her stuff everywhere can't be easy." Sam's sensitive voice filtered quietly off his breath.

That was the last straw, Haley was furious by both Dean and Sam's outright denial. Charging toward Dean, Haley let the fire burning inside her loose. "Tell him I'm still here! Tell him!" She demanded like a force to be reckoned with. The look in her eyes as they blazed upon Dean's brought forceful to a new level.

Her piercing yell rang in Dean's head and only Dean's head as he rose from the bed's edge unable to listen any longer. "Stop it! Just stop it!" Dean's burly voice exploded, his heated gaze pointed and stern upon her.

Sam watched from the sidelines unsure if his brother's outburst was intended for him. There was no one else in the room for it to be directed to and yet Dean wasn't looking at him at all. Worry stirred inside Sam again as he gazed silently over his brother. He knew Haley's death was single handedly destroying Dean even if he tried his best to hide it, but more and more lately Sam worried something bigger and deep was fractured inside his brother. Something her death had ripped from him.

Suddenly Dean's gaze shot to Sam as the realization of how he must look washed over him.

"Just drop it, alright." Dean ordered in a low deep tone that made it known there was no asking in his statement. His emerald eyes forced and commanding in a scary way no one did better then Dean.

Sam gazed upon his older brother and hero as a quiet fear held inside his heart. Nodding, Sam conceded as his deep voice spoke up to explain. "Alright man, I'm just trying to help." Sam reached out, trying to find his brother in the deep dark hole he had dug himself into and called home since her loss.

Grabbing his jacket off a chair Dean ignored Sam's emotion laced concerns and charged for his door. "Then no more pansy crap. Let's get out of here." Dean ordered in his departure. His gaze never turning back to acknowledge Haley, never signally goodbye like he normally would.

As the brothers disappeared out the bedroom door Haley stood silently in the bedroom. Tears welling in her eyes as emotion stricken her voice. "Dean… I'm sorry…" But he never turned back her way.

_I've tried to go on like I never knew youI_

_'m awake but my world is half asleep_

_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_

_But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete_

_****_

_**I Grieve For You**_

_It was only one hour ago, It was all so different then _

_There's nothing yet has really sunk in, Looks like it always did _

_This flesh and bone, It's just the way that you would tied in _

_Now there's no-one home_

_The news that truly shocks is the empty, empty page _

_While the final rattle rocks it's empty, empty cage _

_And I can't handle this_

He's been here before, a million times at least it feels like. Always powerless to stop what's going to unfold before his helpless eyes. Just a puppet in this world. He can only go through the motions. To change history would be impossible. Dean can feel an ache of impending doom in his heart as soon as the curtains are drawn, it starts. Even before tragedy has struck he fears the immanent loss and yet no matter how many times he relives this moment it never hurts any less. It's all so clear here and yet fragmented and scattered too.

Blurry and yet tangible and overloaded by emotion. Dean finds himself at Bobby's house, in the old man's living room to be exact. He, Sam, and Bobby have a powerful demon confined inside a devil's trap, tied to a chair. They're in the middle of an acquisition. Trying to gain knowledge from this beast before they set the human trapped inside free and the damnation back to hell. Just another day in the life…

Something happens, Dean's still not clear on what… The damn thing's too powerful. The pit-bull they shouldn't have backed into a corner. Dean doesn't even realize the devil's trap is broken until he watches Bobby and his brother fly hard and fast into the wall. In the moment that information reaches the nerves in his brain and makes sense, Dean feels himself flying through the air, before his back crashes against the opposite wall. He's gasping for a breath he can't reach as an unseen force holds him in place with a deathly grip.

That's when he hears her, His Haley, His beloved wife. He hears her walk through Bobby's front door and warmly call his name. Dean watches as fireflies shoot across his vision. He fights to stay conscious, to warn her, but his voice doesn't form, his breath still lost. Shooting lights consume his vision as Dean struggles with his body, screaming at her to run inside himself with a voice that never reaches his lips. Then it's lights out, he slips away.

When Dean comes to the damn thing's gone, not a trace of it left. Just the damage left in it's wake. Dean spots her instantly as his vision slowly becomes clearer. His wife, his love is lying on the wooden floor across the room from him. She isn't moving, but that's not what catches his attention first. It's the blood pooled all around her like a halo for her body, deep red and blinding like a blinking neon light that steals Dean's attention. He doesn't remember moving, getting up off that floor, running across the room to her mutilated body. He faintly remembers hollering at Sam and Bobby for help as his strong shaking hands frantically scoop her limp bloody body into his arms.

It all moves surreal and impossible before his eyes, Dean can hear Sam frantically pointing out she's still breathing. He says he tell from the gurgling noise that's escaping from the slit of her mouth as tears fill his whiskey eyes with anguish. Bobby's yelling they have to get her to a hospital now as Dean stares down on his beautiful wife covered in her own blood pleading, begging with her to just open her eyes, to look at him again, but it's to no avail. She may be alive, but only barely, and certainly not conscious.

The next thing Dean knows they're at the hospital. The florescent lights are blinding in his eyes as he charges through the swinging doors of the emergency room. Haley's cradled in his arms, her blood smeared all over him as it keeps dripping from so many places he can't even begin to spot them all.

Dean can hear himself frantically yelling for someone, anyone to help, but doesn't remember his own lips ever moving.

He can feel Sam's hands trying to help him hold Haley steady, but Dean steps away afraid of anyone else touching her. Afraid of anyone else hurting her. Dean only looks at his brother for a split second too terrified of the look of bereavement in his orbs as if he's already signed her death wish.

In the blink of an eye there's doctors all around him, they're trying to take Haley from his arms and place her on a gurney. Dean can feel it pumping through his heart, that that's what she needs at this moment, it's the only way to save her, but he's too distressed to let her go, horrified he'll never see her again. Petrified he'll never get to tell her how sorry he is for letting this happen to her and never get to say goodbye if it comes to that.

They must have wrangled Haley's body from his hands, or he relinquished her, Dean doesn't remember in the frantic haze of it all, but in the blink of an eye they're rushing her on a gurney into a room. Dean stands there dazed for a moment as they leave, unable to move. He can see Sam in his peripheral vision urgently motioning for him to move and follow Haley, but all Dean can focus on is the trail of blood on the linoleum floor that leads to his wife, paralyzed by it. Dean could feel Bobby's supportive grip on his shoulder willing him to move, before he jumps into gear like a motor that's been jump started. His legs start sprinting after her, as Sam follows just a step behind.

Around the corner they spot the room instantly, easily following the blood. Dean finds himself huddled at the doorway. There's wires hooked up all over her, people scrambling, machines that keep frantically beeping like the rate in his desperate heart. Dean watches numb and in helpless disbelief as a team of medical professionals fight to save his wife. He remembers a blank face filling his vision, he remembers yelling at it that this is wife and he's not leaving.

Then Dean hears something that changes everything for him forever. "Time of death, five forty-one pm." That sentence echoes threw Dean, but he can't say a word, he can't even breath. Dean's frozen in place as the words vibrate and bounce off every corner inside him. Ripping it all to shreds before he feels his legs give way and he goes crashing to the hard ground against his knees.

It's all so blurry after that, the thickest, most disjointed part of this place. Dean can hear Sam's sniffles through tears coming from his right. He can hear the doctors use big words like blunt force trauma, multiple lacerations, severe internal bleeding as he sits in a chair he doesn't even remember finding or taking a seat in. Eyes blinking Dean doesn't make a sound. He doesn't even hear the doctors, or Sam's tears, or Bobby's heavy breathing… _Not really_. Sitting there in what felt like a nightmare he so desperately wanted to wake from. Dean knows he'll be angry when it hits, vengeful, and on the war path for that demon's head, but at that moment all he can hear, all he feel is his beloved wife's death. That she's gone. Gone to that place he can never reach, for forever a time that never ends. How the only woman he ever dared to give his whole tarnished heart to was now lying in the cold morgue. How the only woman who had ever really loved every piece of the screw up he was, was now dead because of his life, because of him. The guilt and grief was so crushing, so heavy, so painful, Dean couldn't bare it. He couldn't even move.

_I grieve for you, You leave me _

_So hard to move on, Still loving what's gone _

_They say life carries on, Carries on and on _

_****_

_**Fall On My Knees**_

_And I fall on my knees_

_Tell me how's the way to be, Tell me how's the way to go_

_Tell me why I feel so low_

Dean's eyes shoot open, blinking wildly fast as his panting breath escapes past his lips in rapid bursts. His hands are clinging to the thin blanket, he's covered in a cold sticky sweat. Dean hadn't had that nightmare in a awhile. Right after Haley died it was all Dean saw when he closed his eyes, the haunting memory of his greatest regret. That is until her funeral, that's the first time he saw Haley again. Little by little she appeared to him more, and little by little having her near again drove away the dreams. The fact that he had dreamt of it again tonight, told him what he wanted to deny, this fantasy was crumbling, this version of her would never be enough. Would never be as good as having her alive beside him again.

Rolling onto his back with a rapid heaving breath, Dean spotted Haley instantly, sitting up in their bed beside him. Her big serene honey orbs upon him. "Were you dreaming about me?" Her mellow voice asked.

Dean shot up in bed to meet her at eye level, his heart pounding as if startled. He had been slowly reaching this point for days now, but finally the memory of her death was the final straw to the impossible truths of reality. "You aren't real." Staring into her eyes, Dean spoke words that burned his lips they were so painful to say.

Compassionate like her spirit, a small smile curved on the corner of her mouth as she gazed upon him endearingly. Reaching out, Haley tenderly stroked the edge of his face.

"I am to you." She explained what should have reassured him, and quieted his over thinking mind, but it wasn't enough for Dean anymore.

Dean's chest tightened as he pulled her hand from his face and brought it to his lap. They had never had this conversation before. He had never confronted her, because the truth was up until now he didn't want to know. He was just content to have her back anyway he could, but now he needed the truth. "But you're not really her, you're not really my Hales, are you?" Dean questioned the woman seated beside him in the bed with a somber grief stricken heart. The one that was a perfect mirror image of his wife.

Her eyes held his for a moment of sentiment, dragging out the last of the good moments. Slowly her head shook from side to side. "No, I'm not… I'm just in your mind. You created me in her image, from your memories together. Because you don't know how to live without her. Because you can't let her go." Haley delivered the news delicately as not to cause more damage, because her very purpose for existing was to ease his pain, not cause it. Her hand tangled with his large one in his lap, giving him a little squeeze of affection. Reassuring him, the way her presence was intended to do.

A strong man, stronger then any man should have to be. Carrying a load on his back none should have to hold. Suddenly Dean found himself uncontrollably overwhelmed with heartbreak and loss, this version of her was correct, he couldn't bear it. Knowing his Haley truly was no longer with him, Dean felt despair fill every crevasse of his body. "She's really gone…" Slipped thick and shuttered off Dean's lips as a few broken tears drizzled freely from the eyes of a devastated man who had finally realized he was all alone.

Reaching for him, Haley with a loving touch wiped the tears from his handsome face, caring the way the real Haley would have. "She doesn't have to be. I'll have to leave sooner or later, but you don't have to be crushed by the guilt of losing her for forever. You know how to get her back. How to reunite the two of you." Softly like a whistle in the wind her voice whispered to him his deepest wish. Something only he would know. Something that proved she was created from Dean, because Haley wouldn't have even known what this version of her was hinting at.

Dean's tear pooled eyes gazed at the image of his stunning deceased wife sitting beside him, as she spoke from his hearts deepest desire, a desire he has fought against for almost two months, that is now looking him in the eye where he can't hide away from it anymore. "She'd be so mad at me. Sammy would explode when he found it." Dean's lips mumbled the heartfelt reasons that had always held him back. Good justifiable reasons, but in the midst of his own blinding suffering and endless disintegration, Dean found he didn't care how good and reasonable thinking it was in the face of relief and sanity.

Soothingly Haley's thumb swept across Dean's prickled cheek. "But you'd have her back…" Haley's sweet song of a voice tempted him like the original serpent offering him the forbidden fruit. The convincing Dean had needed to do what to him seemed like the only chance at peace, was finally in his reach, all he had to do was take hold of it. Even if she wasn't real, and came only from his broken heart, her words set him free.

_Danger will follow me now Everywhere I go_

_Angels will call on me And take me to my home_

_Well this tired mind Just wants to be lead home_

_Backstreet Boys, "Incomplete"_

_Peter Gabriel, "I Grieve"_

_Lissie, "Everywhere I Go"_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Coming Back To Me**_

_One of these days the sky's gonna break_

_And everything will escape, and I'll know_

_One of these days the mountains are gonna fall_

_Into the sea, and they'll know_

The '67 Impala blazed down a dirt road like a speeding bullet unleashed onto the night. Dirt and rocks kicked up under it's wheels, leaving a haze of foggy muck is it's trail. The roar of the engine could be heard for miles, like thunder as it crackles over head.

No one was out this late at night, no one around in these parts for miles around, but if a soul happened upon the side of that desolate dirt road and caught a glimpse of the Impala charging like a black train only the devil drives, they'd know the man behind that wheel was on a mission nothing and no one could stop.

Dean's hands gripped tightly to the wheel. So tight his knuckles turned white and his fingers numb, but Dean could barely feel his external body at that moment. It was the war waging inside that held all his attention. A battle fighting between what he knew was right, and what he had to do. What he had to do or he'd die.

His foot held heavy like led on the gas peddle. Never slowing down, speed was his savior, what kept him steady on the course, his path. Any hesitancy, any reluctance, any logical thought and he might actually stop himself. Stop himself from hurting his brother, stop himself from hurting Haley by making them pay for his consequences.

Dean never stopped, never slowed down. He didn't want to think this one through. Feeling it was enough. Feeling the hole inside his heart. The throbbing hole that had only grown infected with time, with her absence. A wound that would never heal, not without her.

The little cricket on his shoulder warned him of what he already knew. That this was selfish and would only hurt others in the longer run, but Damnit, he didn't care! Because Dean now knew the truth… That he couldn't make it without Haley. He couldn't do it, he couldn't bear it.

As if to ease his worried mind an image suddenly caught the corner of his eye. Dean would have swerved if he wasn't already on auto drive in his mind. Quickly his eyes darted to the passenger seat where instantly he spotted her.

His window halfway down, the wind sent her sparkling brown hair flowing across her stunningly beautiful face that had the power to steal the breath from his shapely lips. Their eyes caught for a moment. A split second where he watched her sweet warming smile creep across her lips as she glazed upon him.

Dean's driven emerald eyes darted quickly back onto the road before he could lose control. His eyes were glued to the gleam his headlights shined on that dirt pelted country road, but his ears picked up her quiet reassuring breath. "We'll be together again." She whispered to her love, driving him on.

Just in his mind or a visit from his actual beloved, Dean didn't care anymore. She gave him everything he needed to keep his foot glued to the pedal and carry them home.

Less then ten minutes later Dean stood at the center of a cross road. Having buried the goods needed to sell himself up the crooked, darkened river.

The boatman who would lead him across the river of death to his own demise showed in the form of a beautiful woman. A woman far too beautiful to be holding the evil that dwelled inside her.

Deceiving like a cleaver party mask, or slight of hand in a magic trick. The contradiction of her put Dean's every nerve on edge, made him see her so clearly for the hell spawn she was, but he wasn't there to find peace by her side. He was there to make a deal at any cost, because he was now a man with nothing to lose.

_One of these days letters are gonna fall_

_From the sky telling us all to go free_

_But until that day I'll find a way to let everybody know_

_That you're coming back, you're coming back for me_

With bright red tempting lips, and eyes dark as night, the beautiful woman with a wicked tongue smugly delivered her terms, like dropping breads crumbs to starving children begging on their knees. "I'll give you one year, and one year only." Her sultry breath whispered like a tease.

Dean looked that hellish beast in the eyes, knowing he could battle for more. Knowing he probably wouldn't get it, knowing he was lucky enough to get this.

Without a second thought Dean sailed away onto a ship that led only to the deepest depths of hell as his lips crashed upon her luscious pout. His deal was a rotten one, no doubt, but Dean had lived two months too long to know he'd rather have one year with his beloved Haley by his side then a lifetime he wouldn't survive anyway without her.

She snickered chastising as she gazed upon him. Amused by the pitiful creature such a well trained hunter could become with the loss of one single human. Noting Dean's waiting emerald orbs hot upon her as if waiting for her word, the demon suddenly felt bored by the pathetic man standing before her, weak and only held together by the frame on his body.

"You have two hours before she wakes up. I suggest you hurry or you'll have to explain to your wife why she's six feet under." The beautiful ungodly thing sneered before she promptly turned from him as if to dismiss.

Dean didn't waste a second, his boots kicked up dirt as his feet ran as fast as they could go to the Impala. The engine roared like a lion prized for an attack before tires squealed as Dean sped away in a heap of thunder.

Like the mad man he was Dean raced to the graveyard. Shove in hand, frantically he dug up his wife. The moon light shined up above, gleaming and bright as if God given.

A smile burst wide across Dean's face as he grunted and groaned against the strength and endurance it took to reach his love. After believing he would never see her again, finally having the chance to put his shattered heart back together, Dean would have walked a thousand miles or more.

Reaching the solid oak casket six feet down, Dean suddenly felt apprehension plague his heart. What if he had been tricked. What if he opened that lid and all he found waiting was her rotting, putrid corpse? Could he take that, could he bear to see her in such a way? Dean knew a deal was a deal, but still the fear lingered in his heart.

He had dug up hundreds of graves in his life, almost as far back as could he remember, but none ever held more significance to him then this one. No body lying inside ever mattered to him this much. Forcing himself to follow threw, holding onto the hope he refused to release from his grip, Dean took strong hold of the edge of his wife's coffin, and yanked it up.

_'Cause even though you left me here_

_I have nothing left to fear_

_These are only walls that hold me here_

_Hold me here, hold me here_

Back at his home, their home, the one they created with their love and memories. The one that was just four walls without Haley to make it so much more, Dean clean up in haste. Rinsing all the dirt off in a speedy shower that lasted as long as the blink of an eye. He dressed in clean, decent smelling cloths. Then he moved like a jack rabbit about the house. Putting things in their place, straightening up. The urgency in his heart yelled for everything to be perfect, for everything to be exactly as she would have it.

With a hurried step Dean returned to his room. His eyes shot to his bed as soon as he passed the doorway. There she was lying like an Angel sent down from up above upon their bed. She hadn't woken, hadn't stirred, but she wasn't decaying either, Dean felt certain in his pounding apprehensive heart that that meant she could wake any moment.

He took a seat upon the edge of their bed. Silently he sat there watching her. His heart hanging on the brink of a tall jagged cliff. Desperately waiting for any movement, any sign of life.

When fear began to take hold in his heart, when doubts began to surface, his prayers were finally answer as Dean watched in indescribable awe as his wife's honey eyes slowly fluttered open.

Dean couldn't move, couldn't speak, he could hardly breath as he watched her stunning orbs fluttered a few times before finally opening completely.

Their eyes locked in a silent, heart pounding moment. Before a slow forming smile touched upon her mouth just for him, and this time the sight of it really did take Dean's breath away.

"How long have I been out? …I feel like I've been asleep forever." Groggy and raspy Haley's sweet voice came out. Her gaze moved about the room as if disoriented as she slowly sat up in bed with some effort.

Dean's hand quickly jumped to her aid, grabbing her arms, steadying her balance, being her strength. As Haley's gaze returned to his a grin as blinding as staring into the hot burning sun stole Dean's face before he could think to hold it back.

With an urge that came screaming from his heart, Dean pulled his wife into a tight, desperately clutching hug. "It doesn't matter, because you're here now." His deep gritty voice slipped into the strands of her silky hair.

Her distinctive scent engulfed his nose and suddenly Dean realized how wrong the false image of her had been. How even her scent was something too precious, too complex, too unique to recreate. The feel of her, the smell of her, knowing her was really there, finally beside him again, that hole in his heart filled up, and healed in a way it only could by having her return. Nothing else could have ever repaired that damage. Nothing could have ever taken her place.

As Dean sucked in a deep breath it shuttered in his lungs, moisture thickened in his nose as emotion tightened in his chest, and tears burned in his eyes. All to having his Haley, his wife again. It was like the greatest wish come true, it was like the clouds parted in heaven and shined mercy down upon his broken soul.

_That you and I were made for this_

_I was made to taste your kiss_

_We were made to never fall away_

_Never fall away_

Hearing his thick vibrating breath against her neck, Haley pulled back from their embrace until their faces hung inches apart. Seeing the tears shining in his emerald eyes Haley was startled. Dean never cried. She could easily count on one hand how many times she had seen him do it in all the years they had been together, and he always had a deep soul penetrating reason for it when he did.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Haley's voice etched out nervously as compassion and concern shot like an arrow into him from her eyes.

Seeing that look, that look that was so genuine in his beloved, Dean felt a few tears slip down his prickled cheeks. Every moment the realization it was her, it was really her, she had actually returned to him, hit Dean a little deeper each time. In ways he didn't even know his deformed heart could be touched.

Wiping the wetness from his face with a strong callused hand, not wanting to frighten his wife on their blessed reunion, wanting to save all the pain and heartache for later, Dean reached out, and softly ran his hand down her beautiful face. Stopping at her lusciously soft cheek, lovingly he cupped it in his palm as he gazed mesmerized into Haley's stunning honey orbs. "Nothing, nothing now that we're together." Dean's husky emotion thick voice whispered reassurance.

He knew there'd be hell to pay. That he'd break the hearts of everyone he loves when the truth came out, but in that moment Dean didn't care.

After surviving two months of hell without her. After burying her, and watching them place the only woman he would ever really love into the cold earth as if she could be hidden away and forgotten. After being forced to live on without her as if he knew how to carry on. Dean didn't care what the price was. She had a second chance, they had a second chance.

From the moment Dean had awoken the brutal day he found Haley lying on Bobby's wooden floor, slowly dying in her own blood, he had known in his heart it wasn't meant to end that way. They weren't meant to end that way. As difficult as the coming days would be as the secrets slipped from their hidden dark holes, Dean knew as he gazed into his wife's shining big eyes, he wouldn't regret this.

He'd do it all over again in a second to have her back. Having her by his side, gazing into her eyes, within arms reach to shower her with his love, Dean was never more sure of one thing… _They made to never fall away._

_You're coming back for me, You're coming back for me_

_You're coming back to me_

_Civil Twilight, "Letter From The Sky"_

**_The End_**

_Civil Twilight, "Letter From The Sky"_


End file.
